


A Lighthouse From The Sea

by ghostfox11



Series: Magnet [1]
Category: The Rookie (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23551207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostfox11/pseuds/ghostfox11
Summary: After one final terrible shift to end a month from hell, Tim finds himself at Lucy's door.
Relationships: Tim Bradford & Lucy Chen, Tim Bradford/Lucy Chen
Series: Magnet [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695028
Comments: 50
Kudos: 172





	1. Chapter 1

Tim was still. Frozen. The dry desert air suffocating. The heat burned into his skin from the blazing sun above. But he was stuck. He looked down at an empty barrel buried in the ground. A rusting, gaping hole where she was supposed to be. He should be pulling her out, breathing life back into her, holding her whilst she sobbed. He knew that. And yet the barrel was empty and the pain he felt from the sight was blinding. 

Tim could hear the rest of the force around him, not running to help, but shouting at him from what seemed to be above. Nolan cursed how he “should have found her sooner." West shouted that he “should have known Caleb was psychopath." Lopez told him she’d “never been more ashamed of him." Sergeant Grey growled at how “he failed her." His Boot. Her life was in his hands and he had failed her. 

Their voices wounded and cut away at his heart as they repeated in their vicious cycle of abuse and blame adding to the heavy weight that he had already been carrying. But Tim couldn’t see them. All he could see was the empty barrel before him, where she should have been but wasn’t. Because it was the wrong one. They were too late. And Lucy was dead. 

The terrible realization startled Tim awake. The duvet fell to the floor, almost taking Tim’s thrashing body with it. His head spun; his heart raced. He reached for his phone to check the time and almost dropped it due to how sweaty his palms were. 3:30 am. Shit.

Groaning, he threw himself back on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling. But the blackness made him think about what it must have been like in that barrel and he was suffocating again. Rising to his feet, he made his way into the kitchen to get a glass of water. 

Tim knew he wasn’t fully awake yet. He was well aware from the fuzzy edges of the world around him, from the exaggerated loudness of his bare feet hitting the floor. But this heightened awareness was no help when a car exhaust backfired.

Suddenly he was back there. Outside the Perp’s house, gun raised and ready to enter. He nodded to Chen to open the door and, as she turned to do so, a shot went off from inside. It fired through the door and hit her square in the chest. And his Boot was falling back into his arms and he was screaming something out into the air. One hand protected her head whilst the other reached for his radio. He called for back-up. And then he was pulling her to safety round the back of building. The dumpster acted as a shield and there was no direct line of sight. No line of fire. And it was then, as he held her to him as tightly as he could, that he finally noticed her eyes staring up at him. A look of shock, from more than just the bullet, which he then noticed her vest had caught. She was looking up at him like she didn’t understand why she was there: in her TO’s shaking arms as he willed her to be okay. Again. When protocol dictated that he should have fired back.

The crash of his glass smashing into the sink snapped him out of his memory of the previous shift. Sergeant Grey had said that under the circumstances all the right decisions had been made. Rules could be broken if it saved a life.

Yet, Tim couldn’t let go of the crippling fear he had felt when he watched Chen fall. He couldn’t ignore the relief he had felt when he saw the dented bullet in her vest and no blood. And the memory of the strange sweeping feeling in his chest when she looked up at him, as he held her close in his arms, had his hands shaking again.

Cursing, he began to clean the glass from the sink, but the shaking wouldn’t stop. He found himself itching for his cell back on his bedside cabinet, yearning to send her a message just to know she was okay. But he knew that that wouldn’t be enough. A call? To hear her voice? That would be reassuring for sure. But there was no way he could fathom an explanation for phoning his boot at 3:30 am when she had taken a bullet not five hours ago. Still trying to find a reasoning behind his actions but knowing that there was no way he was getting back to sleep, Tim found himself reaching for his keys and heading to his car. He was at her flat before he ever gave himself permission to drive there.

It was probably a form of trauma he knew. In fact, it probably hadn’t been safe for him to drive in his condition, but his mind was in a whirlwind. And so, resigned to what he was about to do, he walked purposefully towards her door and pressed the buzzer. It wasn’t until he heard her muffled and confused greeting from the receiver that he remembered West lived there too and that he was lucky it was Lucy who answered. 

‘It’s Tim, can you let me in?” Now that he said it out loud, he realized how inappropriate this was, how uncomfortable and confused she probably felt, and an apology was half-way from his mouth, when the buzzer sounded, and the door opened. Slower now, he made his way up the stairs trying to prepare for what he would say when he saw her. Surely, he could cover this as some sort of test? As a what would you do if the world ended and you were in bed sort of thing? But then he saw her face, or rather the look on her face when she saw him, and all reasoning went out the window. 

Barely concealing the panic from her voice, he watched as her confusion turned to fear. 

“Tim? What’s happened?” Lucy stared up at him. Usually his bravado filled a room, making his presence felt by everyone in it. It had once scared her, she’ll admit to that, but she had come to respect it. And now, seeing him standing before her looking so unsure, she missed it and knew she would do anything to return it before he walked back out that door. 

Tim shook his head. “I’m sorry, Its nothing. I...” he froze, tilting his head to look at her, and burying his hands in his pockets with the hope that she didn’t notice their shaking. “I was…” he trailed off again. 

Usually this would be the time for one of Chen’s quick remarks and the fact she didn’t give him one just confirmed exactly what Tim feared. He looked like shit and she knew fine well something was wrong and no bullshit lie was ever going to persuade her otherwise. 

“Come in.” she breathed and was relieved when he nodded. She had no idea what he was walking in to tell her, but she had a feeling that she might need to open a bottle of strong liquor when he did. He could probably use some too by the look of him. 

Tim shuffled forward, feeling like an animal walking into the lion’s den, which actually made no sense because she was here and alive and he should be feeling better. Just seeing her should have been enough to calm him, allow him to come up with an excuse to leave, and that would have been the end of it. 

But instead he was still yearning. His body was still screaming at him and he didn’t know why. 

“Jackson is at Sterling’s,” Chen spoke from behind him where she closed the door. She shuffled past him, as though she was scared to touch him, and if Tim didn’t already feel pathetic, he did now.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” she offered. It felt lame falling from her lips, and she was half expecting that eyebrow raise of his; judging her for speaking too fast without thinking, but it didn’t come. 

Instead, Tim shook his head, feeling even more guilty from the awkwardness of her voice. She was obviously treading on eggshells. Scared and confused. At half three in the morning when she had just been shot. Vest or not, she had almost died again. If anyone was looking for comfort it should have been her, and yet here he was making it worse. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come.” He turned to leave but she caught him by the arm.

“Tim, something’s up. I know I’m your Rookie but I like to think we’re sort of friends now and you’ve been there for me in the past so why don’t you have a seat and we can sort out whatever’s got you like …well this.” she gestured to his body, all tense and shaking, and he sighed and shuffled forward to collapse onto the sofa. It was small enough that, when she sat beside him, they were almost touching. 

Tim felt his knee start to bounce as he tried to explain. “I thought I lost you today. It freaked me out when it shouldn’t have. I’ve been on the job long enough to know better.”

He stopped when he felt a small hand cover his kneecap. He turned to look at Chen and her concern, her compassion, caused him to admit even more than he was planning to. “I was worried about you and I wanted to check how you were holding up with everything. But I can see that you’re fine.” She smiled a small smile at him and her grip on his knee tightened. And it was then that Tim realized that this was what he had needed. Not just her voice, or to see her, but her touch. And instead of fighting it, just this once he let his heart have it. 

Lucy swallowed at the tension between them. She’d felt it so many times before but this time it was different. It was more loaded. “You’re right. I am fine. Well a bit shaken up. Those bullets leave bruises even when the vest catches them. The last one took weeks to go away. But I don’t think this is about me.”

He broke their eye contact, fixating his gaze safely on the rug before them. 

“It was my fault.” He confessed and when she didn’t react, he rose to his feet. With his back to her he tried to collect his thoughts. The confession had escaped him before he had realized he felt that way himself. Chen was the emotionally in-tune one. He had never really known how to recognize, never mind express, how he was feeling. He reckoned it went back to his childhood with his Dad when any emotion other than stoic bravado would have just caused more pain for his Mom. Shaking his head to try to prevent that particular spiral, he turned back to look down at Chen. She looked both scared and confused.

“What?” she stuttered after a few seconds of loaded silence. He had floored her with his confession. Completely and utterly floored her. She’d known for a while that he had a bit of a hero complex and everything with Kenny and his confession in the car had attested to that. But she had no idea it ran this deep.

“The shooting today was my fault. I shouldn’t have let you go through that door first. Just like-” He stopped himself. What was it about her than encouraged him to spill his heart?

“Like what?” she pressed, but he suspected she already knew the answer. Back to the psychoanalyzing it seemed. But, for the first time, it didn’t bother him. 

“You being taken.” He finished. 

Lucy shook her head at him, and he knew she was going to tell him that he was wrong, but he couldn’t hear that right now, and his heart was racing again, and he was talking before he realized it. “Everything is my fault. All of it. Bad things happen to those who get too close to me.”

Lucy sprung to her feet and stormed over to him. “Stop it.” she demanded.

He froze, looking down at her. Their height difference had once intimidated her, then it became just another thing to add to the list of reasons he turned her on. Now she barely noticed it; she had never seen Tim look so small.

“Firstly, you know Isabel’s addiction had nothing to do with you. She got addicted on the job, you weren’t there, and you couldn’t have known. And when you did, you did everything that you could to save her. As for me? I know you like to think you’re the boss of me all of the time but the second we take off our uniforms you’re not. I make my own decisions and I chose to go out with Caleb. And today, that could have been either one of us that got shot, but because of your instincts you saved my life. I could easily have taken another bullet, and so could you, if you hadn’t gotten us out of there quick enough.” 

Tim, unable to meet her eyes for any of her speech, stared down at the rug again. He was curled in on himself, his hands forming fists at his side, his shoulders slumped. She couldn’t read his face from the low angle he held it at and the dim light. She wasn’t even sure if he had been listening to her at all, until he slowly he shook his head.

“You don’t believe me?” she questioned, moving closer to him. If anything, he tensed more. “You make life’s better Tim, not worse.” 

He slowly lifted his head to look at her and she could tell from the deep yearning in his eyes, which were swimming with unshed tears, that he wanted to believe her. Desperately. 

“You saved my life. Not just from that barrel but countless other times too. And you make me a better cop every single shift. Knowing you has made me a better person and I just wish you could see it. All the good you’ve done instead of all that bad that you haven’t caused.”

It was her final wish that broke him. Throughout her speech he’d been fighting the instinct of pulling a bravado act and calling her out on how little she knew him. Snapping at her, as was his coping mechanism. And then there was the part of him, the part that he’d only discovered thanks to her, that wanted to listen to her, and learn, and change. It wanted him to let her make him into a better person as he had tried to do for her. It was the same part that wanted to be more than her TO. 

For the first time he let that part of him win. In two swift steps he moved towards her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight into his chest. 

Lucy staggered back in shock for a second, before her arms rose to wrap around his much larger frame as best she could. Apart from the day he dragged her from the barrel, they hadn’t had anywhere near this much physical contact. She felt him breath her in and gripped him tighter. 

It terrified her to see the strongest man she knew look so broken. She had gotten a glimpse of this fractured side of him on their first shift together, when his whole demeanor had softened for Isabel. She had seen the worry and care he showed towards Rachel. She had seen the depths of his heart when he held her after he saved her life and again when he gave her her ring back. But she had never seen anything like this. 

She supposed that might have been part of the problem. Perhaps he had bottled up that anguish with what had happened with his dad. She hadn’t asked any questions after he mentioned it briefly to her that first time, but she knew it must have been bad. And he had acted off since the domestic disturbance they were called to two days ago. The Dad, the abuser, was long gone when they got there. They had helped the mother and her two young children get the help they needed, but it couldn’t have been easy for him. Kenny showing up and bringing back all of those memories couldn’t have helped. And then everything that had happened to her. Carrying the blame for other people’s pain for as long as he had, it was only a matter of time before he broke.

He was silent, but his shaking body gave away that he was crying. 

“It’s alright,” she told him, rubbing one hand soothingly across his back whilst the other held him tight. “I’ve got you.”

He held onto her impossibly tighter at her words and she gripped him back just the same.  
It should have been awkward. They both knew it. He was still her TO and he had only just broken up with her best friend. But it wasn’t. It felt safe and even when he stopped shaking neither one of them let go. 

“I lied earlier you know,” Lucy confessed after a few minutes of silence. 

Tim pulled back to look down at her, but he kept his arms around her small frame. 

“I wasn’t alright. Not as alright as I claimed to be anyway.” 

Concern washed over him, and he felt his heart, which was only just starting to beat properly again, plummet. “What do you mean?” he asked, his voice raspy. He felt his embarrassment at having just had a small breakdown in his Boot’s apartment begin to claw at him, but that didn’t matter right now. He didn’t even try to put on the Bradford mask he usually wore. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” Lucy admitted. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to balance the scales, or if she just wanted to tell him. “You didn’t wake me earlier. I was up pacing the apartment looking for something to take my mind off the idea of dying again.”

Tim sighed and moved his hand comfortingly up and down her bare arms. He felt her shiver as he did but he didn’t comment. Instead he held her gaze and tried to put as much sincerity into his words as he could. “I won’t let that happen,” he promised. 

“I know,” she breathed. She caught his eyes flickering down to her lips and couldn’t help it when hers did the same. Suddenly the air between them became too hot and they were stood too close. 

At the same time, they awkwardly stepped back, neither knowing what to say next. 

Tim looked like he wanted to leave again, and she was ready to accept whatever excuse he came up with, but he didn’t give one. Instead he simply stood watching her as though he was lost at sea and she was his only chance of not drowning. 

“It’s late,” she offered, and she watched as he just about hid his disappointment. Unlike most of his behavior tonight, this was more like the Tim she knew: hiding his emotions and trying to seem tough. But she could see through it and she got the feeling that he didn’t want to leave after all. Truth be told, she didn’t want him to leave either. Having him here, even under the circumstances, made her feel safer. 

“But I’m not sure you’re in a fit state to drive. I could sleep on the sofa if you want to take my bed. The sofa’s comfy but I’m not sure you would fit before you get all gentleman on me.”

He looked down at her. The logical part of his brain screamed that this was unprofessional and inappropriate. But he was exhausted. His whole body ached and the thought of driving home really wasn’t very appealing. And it was late, or early since the clock on the wall read 4:30. By the time he got home there wouldn’t be much point in going to bed. Not that he expected to be able to sleep much if he had to wake himself up for the drive. And he knew he would sleep better here anyway. It would be easier just knowing that the small woman before him, who had just released him of his burdens like it was nothing, who had held his weight as he cried, the strongest woman he knew, was safe. 

So, he surprised her, if the look on her face was anything to go by, and nodded his head. “I’d like to stay, if that’s alright?” 

She smiled, a small but relieved tilt of her lips, and nodded her head back at him. “Alright then.” She led her way to her room, and she could feel him following behind her, that strong presence he carried almost restored. “I changed the sheets this morning, in case you were wondering.”

“It’s fine Boot,” Tim smiled down at her and at the use of the name Lucy grinned back up at him. The word alone seemed to have instilled the last of his bravado and just like that he was back to the Tim she knew and loved. 

Shit. 

Did she just admit that in her head?

Just in case her realization showed on her face, Lucy quickly turned and made to leave. 

“Toilet’s the door on the left down the hall and I’ll be in the living room if you need anything,” she offered, her back to him as she walked to the door.

“Lucy?” Tim called. 

She froze at the use of her first name. It sounded so much more meaningful from his lips. 

“Yeah?” She spun to look at him.

“Thanks.” It was heavy and weighted, and her heart fluttered in response.

She wanted to say for what, doing my job? It was their joke after all. But it was also their way of not accepting gratitude and she really, really wanted Tim to start to accept some. So, not wanting to be a hypocrite she said, “Anytime.”

And it was a promise. A promise that even after tonight, even after she was no longer his rookie, she would be there to help him. Just as she knew he would be there to help her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your feedback on the previous chapter. I was not expecting such a warm response and you made my day. This chapter is shorter but I hope you enjoy it.

Tim fell asleep almost as soon as he crawled under the covers. So, when he woke the next morning, it was confusion that hit him first. He didn’t immediately recognize his surroundings. Then he smelt that distinct Lucy smell, and he recognized her bedroom from when he had come for Cujo. 

Embarrassment immediately replaced the confusion. 

He groaned and rubbed his hand across his face. He hadn’t experienced a night like that in years. When he had first finished with the army, and returned home, the nightmares and guilt had eaten him alive for months. But with joining the academy and focusing on his police work he had pushed through it. Perhaps all the suggestions of therapy might have been better in the long run. But either way there he was, in his Rookie’s bed after crying into her shoulder the night before. And now he had to try to play it off in a way that didn’t change everything about their relationship. It might be easier to just leave a note.

He slipped from the covers, pulled his top and pants back on from where he had discarded them on the floor, and made his way into the living room, still trying to work out exactly what he was going to say or write. But once again any plans left his head as soon as he saw her. 

Lucy was curled up asleep on the sofa, looking small and vulnerable, yet impossibly beautiful. Her blanket had fallen to the side, revealing that she was wearing the same black tank top and loose-fitting knee length pants as she was when he arrived but in his, emotional state, he hadn’t appreciated how revealing the outfit actually was. Tim was used to seeing her in uniform. Even the few times he saw her out of work she was often wearing pants and a jacket of some kind. He swallowed. Her hair was slightly wild around her head and her face relaxed into what was now a familiar pout. He felt like an intruder, watching her in this relaxed state, but he couldn’t help the selfish few seconds he took to drink her up. 

Tim realized then that he couldn’t write the note he was planning. He couldn’t just slip out and leave. She deserved more, and, if he couldn’t give her the time machine, (or anything else from the long list of things he wanted but couldn’t have with her), he could at least give her his gratitude. So, with a sigh he moved as quietly as possible into the kitchen and began making them coffee. Luckily, she had everything arranged in such a regimented way that it didn’t take him long to sort it out. He was surprised when she didn’t wake up but, then again, she had only gotten a few hours’ sleep.

Once the coffee was poured, black for them both but hers with plenty of sugar, (which he had insisted she cut down on), he made his way back into the living room. 

“Chen,” he whispered just loud enough to waken her but hopefully not startle her. Thankfully, she stirred slowly, and a smile appeared on her face when she saw him. He was sure he must look a mess, standing ruffled in yesterday’s clothes after a night of emotional trauma, but she was looking at him like he was more than that. It made his heart flip in the best way. 

The smell of coffee snapped Lucy from her post-dream trance. In said dream Tim had been sleeping beside her in her bed and she had woken to him rising above her. Seeing him as soon as she opened her eyes hadn’t helped quieten her racing heart but she rose as gracefully as she could, pulling her blanket more securely around her, and accepted the offered drink. 

Tim stood to his full height before speaking. “Sorry, I know it’s early, and it’s your day off but I didn’t want to leave without saying thank you.”

Lucy smiled in response and took a sip of her coffee to give her more time to think of a reply. She wasn’t fully awake yet and the image of them celebrating their day off in a very different way was still fresh in her mind.

“And I knew it was better to offer you coffee before I tried make conversation,” he added. 

She laughed quietly, “You do know me well.”

He nodded. They had both long accepted that that was the case. 

Her kidnapping felt like years ago and yet sometimes, for how raw it still felt, it could have been yesterday. In truth it had been just over three months. In that time Tim had shown himself to be more vigilant than she gave him credit for. Well, vigilant when it came to her. She had always admired his precision and observation on the job, but it was alarming when directed towards her.

After another sip, Lucy decided what to say. “You don’t have to thank me you know. I mean everything that I said was the truth.” She didn’t want to embarrass him or scare him by stressing her words any further, but she knew he understood the sincerity of her words when he broke eye contact and ducked his head to hide his blush. 

“I know,” he breathed. He felt his face grow hotter as images of the night before flashed through his mind. As he remembered how he stood at the spot he was at now and cried. He didn’t think of himself as a particularly emotional person. Anger was usually his release. Especially in front of other people. 

It was crazy to think about how far they had come. Chen really was the best Rookie he had trained, but it was more than just police work that made their partnership special. She understood him. Or at least she understood him more than anyone he had ever met. It was terrifying. 

Months ago, he would have seen what happened last night as a fracture to their relationship. A fracture that would need fixed as soon as possible. Like when he had thought he was going to die in a locked room next to a corpse, believing he was going to take his own life with his Rookie on the other side of the door. And then when she hadn’t written it in the report. So he had panicked and given her as hard a time as he could, to make sure she didn’t see him as weak, to ensure that she kept the respect, and just the right amount of fear, that allowed their relationship to work. 

That Tim would have had a test ready for the next shift that would be extreme enough for her to forget all about last night. Now he couldn’t even think of a test that would be appropriate and he realized it was because he didn’t want to. For some reason he believed that their relationship wouldn’t be broken by this. In fact, he had hope that it would grow into something better. He just had to let it.

After a few seconds he crouched back down so that they were at eye level with each other before he spoke. “For the record, if you ever have a night like last night, when you need the distraction? Instead of pacing you could call me. I’m usually up or you would wake me anyways.” 

Lucy’s heart picked up pace again at his words. She knew the night would inevitably come. What she’d been through was never going to just go away with a few weeks of therapy and running head-first back into the job. She knew that she would have bad days. Tim not only acknowledging it, but providing her with somewhere to go when it happened, didn’t exactly help her attempts at squashing her deeper, more inappropriate feelings towards him.

“I’ll remember that,” she replied. 

Tim moved to sit beside her, and they finished their coffee in easy companionship. There weren’t many people that she could sit in silence with and not have the urge to fill it. With Tim she often made conversation just to annoy him. But it wasn’t needed. She felt connected to him through the silence they shared. Knowing that it was still soothing and familiar was reassuring. She took it as a sign that, even after last night, they would be okay. 

“I should get going” Tim finally announced, after he had sipped his coffee as slowly as he could. He didn’t want to intrude any further, even if he was beginning to accept that she was enjoying his company as much he enjoyed hers. And, thanks to her, he had a dog to walk.

“Thanks again,” he pressed his hand across her knee in gratitude before he rose. He left his mug in the kitchen sink and then picked up his jacket, which he had no recollection of taking off, from where she must have folded it across the couch. 

What he didn’t know was that she had curled herself into the sofa so that the jacket was next to her. His smell had been what allowed her to sleep. That and knowing how close he was. 

They weren’t supposed to be doing this. Seeking comfort from each other so deeply was risky. There were lines between professional and personal and they were getting more blurred by the day. But neither of them wanted to fill them back in. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow Tim,” Lucy stated, turning from her spot to watch him go. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t be late.”

The arrogance was back, and Tim Bradford was once more the pain in her ass that she knew him to be. Lucy smiled. “Never,” she retorted.

He gave her once last smile and wave before he was gone.

She took Tim up on his offer four weeks later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the next part mostly written and a third part in the works so I hope that makes up for the shorter length.   
> Any feedback would be very much appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> The title is lyrics from the song Magnet by Picture This.   
> I have a few ideas for this series that I will hopefully be posting over the next few weeks.  
> Any feedback would be very much appreciated!


End file.
